Father's Day
by oliviatennant
Summary: Noah has a surprise for Barba


**Friday night, Olivia and Barba** walk into her apartment dead on their feet- never have they been happier that it was the weekend. The moment they walk through the door, Noah hops up from where he's playing on the floor with Lucy. The four year old quickly makes his way across the room to wrap himself around Barba's leg. Barba's a bit stunned- Olivia usually got the first hug.

He smiles down at the boy's goofy grin- "Raf, I maked you somefing"

Pleasantly surprised to be getting all the attention- Barba scoops the boy up- as Olivia steps past him to talk to Lucy "Oh you did? Can I see?"

"I'm 'possed to wait til Sunday"

Barba's a bit perplexed "Why Sunday?"

Noah returns a grin, pleased with himself "It's a 'prize".

"A surprise, huh? Well thanks for making me something."

Noah giggles- the squirms to get down so he can go hug his Mom hello.

 **At dinner Noah seems** distracted. After a few moments of pushing the remainder of his food across his plate he looks up to Olivia, "Mamí, how _far_ away is Sunday?"

Olivia's puzzled by the question but answers, "It's about one day away, Sweetheart."

Noah- seemingly content with this answer- goes back to pushing his food across his plate.

 **Saturday goes by quickly-** the park, lunch, groceries. After dinner Barba sits reading Noah his bedtime story on the couch while Olivia cleans the kitchen. Near the end of the book- Noah cranes his neck to look up at Barba, "Cuando es Domingo?"

Barba stops, uncertain, _what's so special about Sunday?_ "It's about 5 hours away" he replies.

Noah sighs, frustrated, "Mamí said it was one day away and 5 is more than 1."

Barba can't help the proud grin that overtakes his face- he explains- knowing Noah won't really understand, "That's right, it is more. But an hour is smaller _than_ a day- so it's like 5 little pieces of a day."

Noah thinks about this for a moment, "So it's kinda like Sunday now?"

Barba chuckles, "It's close."

With that- Noah jumps down from Barba's lap and walks over to his tiny backpack at the base of the coatrack. He retrieves a construction paper card and walks back to the couch. Olivia- having finished the dishes- rounds the corner to take in whatever's going on.

Noah crawls back in to Barba's lap and hands him the "card". It's covered in Noah's scribbles with "Happy Father's Day" typed across the front. Barba feels his breath catch. He opens it to find more of Noah's "drawings" with a mad-libs type script- clearly filled in by the teacher.

"My dad is a _lawyer,_

He _puts bad guys in jail,_

He helps me with _my legos,_

I love him because _he speaks to me in our secret code_ "

Barba stares frozen for a moment- completely unsure of what to do. He feels his eyes well up but wills himself to keep it together. "That's the best card I've ever gotten, amigo. Thank you." Noah grins- proud of himself- then snuggles into Barba for the end of the book.

Olivia hangs back, letting them have their moment. But she can't help but think that this is the turning point. _This may be where Barba realizes just how deep he's gotten himself. Barba clearly loved Noah but she knew he'd never wanted to be a father. She feared this card might lead him to the realization that any move forward would inadvertently make him one. She wasn't ready for this conversation but her son's unexpected pre-school craft might thrust them into it._ Olivia tries to stay calm as Barba rounds out the bedroom routine.

After putting Noah to bed, he joins Olivia in her room. He quietly undresses- while she sits in bed reading. _He realizes they need to have a conversation about tonight but he's terrified. Putting everything out in the open will just make Olivia realize that he can't be a father- he's sure of it. He's about to lose everything because of a pre-schoolers card._

He slips into bed beside her and she takes off her glasses, "I'm sorry about tonight- I had no idea."

Barba isn't sure how to respond. _She's just confirmed it. She's sorry. She doesn't want Noah thinking of him as 'Dad'._

Barba's silence is making her nervous. She puts a hand on his arm, "Rafi, there's no pressure for you to be anything more to him than you are right now. I know you never saw yourself as a dad."

Relief washes over him. For once he's misread her. "You're right. I didn't see myself as a dad. The idea of having that much control over another person's life terrifies me."

 _Olivia tries desperately to hold eye contact and hear him out but she inside she wants to scream- certain their relationship is ending._

Barba presses on, "I suppose it will always terrify me. But the few times I did picture it- I didn't think that I might have a partner beside me who'll keep me from fucking it up too badly. And now the idea of losing this tiny little person who I somehow fell in love with is way more terrifying. So if he's OK with me being more, and if you're OK with me being more- I'd sure as hell like to be more."

Olivia is overcome with emotion. Tears spring to her eyes and she doesn't even try to stop them, "Really?"

Barba smiles and nods before leaning in for a gentle kiss. "Really. As long as you promise to keep me from fucking this up."

Olivia smiles through her tears. "What if we both fuck up?"

Barba shrugs, "Long as I can share the blame."

Olivia swats him playfully before leaning in for a longer kiss. She breaks away slightly look at him as she whispers, "Happy Father's Day, Rafi."

"Now that'll take some getting used to" he grins. She smiles into his lips as she kisses him once more.


End file.
